1. At what age do you think it's appropriate for someone to get their driver's license?

Twenty-one, and after a very long and expensive training course. And I think a driver's license should be taken away after committing anything more serious than speeding. One can get their license back after repeating the long and expensive training course.

2. At what age do you think it's appropriate for someone to first drink alcohol?

If they are with their parents: At whatever age the parents deem appropriate.
If they are alone: 18.

3. At what age do you think it's appropriate for someone to become sexually active?

Whenever it naturally happens.

4. At what age do you think it's appropriate for someone to vote in elections affecting national and/or local government?

Eighteen seems about right, though not many 18 year-olds really vote. It's a shame, because there are more young adults than there are old ones, and young adults could decide every election if they just got out and vote. Actually, come to think of it... keep doing what you're doing.

5. At what age do you think it's appropriate for someone to be conscripted for military service?

Again, eighteen. Either mandatory domestic military service for a year, or two years of public service (hospital work, park service work, etc.). I realize this is probably not a popular opinion, but too many people are too used to taking from our society with no concept of paying anything back. The mandatory domestic military service would be exempt from going to war unless they volunteer for the professional military. They would also be paid fairly and given food and housing.

Video shot a month ago:

Progress Diary, Pt. 2 from Jon-Paul on Vimeo.

I still don't want to talk about things. I may never. I'm just focusing on the important things right now. We'll leave it at that.

If one more person tells me to "just pray about it" or "just think happy thoughts," I swear I am going to... I don't know.

When someone comes to you and tells you that they are in serious need, don't tell them either of those two things. Don't just ignore them, either.

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Today is/would have been our second-year anniversary.

We have been talking, off and on. I'll just leave it at that.

I just really love her. I did what I did not as a way to intentionally hurt her but as a reflex protection in order to not be hurt. I wasn't at all happy with the prospect of her moving away because of opera things. And instead of dealing with that in a mature, functional, healthy manner, I dealt with it other ways.

The truth is, I felt for her with an intensity I have never felt for anyone else. We may have had problems here and there, but the most ordinary, everyday interaction with her greatly dwarfed even the worst fight we would ever have.

I took her presence for granted. And that, I think, was my biggest sin of all.

---

We met on June 26, 2007, at a local pizza place. A mutual friend of ours set us up on a kind-of blind date. Our friend ended up coming out with us, playing referee, but it was soon very apparent that we didn't need her. She bolted a couple of hours into the evening, leaving April and me to cement the first impressions and to feel our heartbeats rise.

We ended up on her couch that evening watching "So, I Married an Axe Murderer" and kissing and touching and laughing. It was the best first date ever. I knew what I was going to feel for her that night, and it was so hard for me to hold back. She was everything I wanted. She was sexy, pretty, smart, talented, well-traveled, and very lady-like. A week passed before I saw her again. But when I saw her that second time, I knew. The second date, and I knew for certain.

We've had our highs and lows since then, but I am still very certain that I want her in my life from here on. I am learning that I am carrying a lot of emotional baggage with me. It isn't fair to her, and I am trying to deal with all of it. Emotionally, I have been scarred and hurt by family, friends, and relationships from the past. I am learning that I was judging and punishing April for things she didn't even do to me. What I saw as protecting myself was actually pushing her away and not giving her every single ounce of myself.

I don't want to be a part-time boyfriend/husband/mate. I want to be there for April completely so she has no doubt at all where she stands in my life. It will take time and hard work to get there. But I am committed to her. I almost never pray, but I have done an awful lot of it over the past two weeks.

I don't know how things will eventually end up with us. I know I very much want us to end up together. Like I told her, it wouldn't be the same relationship we had. It will be a much stronger, deeper relationship where we are both finally fully invested. We are obviously in love with one another. It's just going to take some work. I am hoping she will work with me. We've gone this long with her carrying the bulk of us. It's time I take the reigns and do the hard work for a while until we are both strong enough to walk together.

Ok. *deep breath*

First off, I realize that someone here is sharing the private posts I write. I'm not bitter.

Secondly, I need to get this out.

April and I have been emailing back and forth, and she is sharing with me everything she found in my emails that angered and hurt her so much to the point where leaving in haste seemed to be the only option.

I must retract my posting where I said what I thought the emails in question were. And in making that retraction, I must fully admit that I was truly in the wrong in the situation and April was truly justified in leaving the way she did.

The emails she found were much more inappropriate than I led on. I certainly crossed the line on many occasions, and I should not have done it. While some *were* about me blowing off steam, others were outright flirting and were solicitive in nature.

When I wrote that post, I was in total shock and absolutely, without a doubt should not have written it. I portrayed the woman I love in a completely negative light, and I sincerely regret that stupid decision I made to write it. After talking to her over the past few days, I have come to learn that the party was a going away party and not a party bashing me. As well, the notes left around tv house were only written by her, and like my LJ post, was written in a place of hurt and anger.

April is not the guilty party in any of this. If I had been the man I should have been -- if I didn't sneak behind HER back -- she wouldn't have felt the need to sneak behind mine.

I have hurt April beyond reprieve. I have also hurt my friends. All of the people whose trust I carried, I let them down. To those of you who may have looked up to me, I have disappointed you. I take FULL RESPONSIBILITY for everything that eventually led to the end of this relationship.

Please harbor no ill will towards April. She's got a bigger heart than anyone on this earth, and she has more love to give than anyone could ever use in a lifetime.

I want to apologize to April publicly for writing that post. I also want to apologize to all of you for lying to you. I cheated. I got caught. End of story.

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We flew in from Honolulu yesterday, and boy are my arms tired!

We had a freaking FANTASTIC trip, full of joy, and sweets, and joyness. If you don't remember, poxyfairydingle and I left on a jetplane and spent three days in San Francisco and seven days in Hawaii. Behind the cut is a rundown of the first leg of the trip along with some really fantastic pictures.

( California's been good to me / I hope it don't fall into the sea. )

To Be Continued...

We drove to the westernmost point on Oahu this morning for a little tourist-free sightseeing. This is about as far away as you can get from Honolulu and Waikiki, so there are hardly any tourists in this area. The only people you see are locals with nets and fishing poles.

Enjoy the pic!

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Guess where I was today!

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My recurring dream is where there is a tall tower -- radio tower, usually -- and I either a) am in trouble and the punishment is being pushed off, or b) voluntarily jump off of the tower, for fun. The tower is usually really hard to get to the top, so there is a lot of struggle and determination to get up there.

Most people jump out of their sleep when they hit the ground. Not me. I experience the feelings of falling, and BOOM. I hit. But then, like Sisyphus, I am forced to go back to the top of the tower and jump again. It happens over and over.

I used to have a recurring dream where I could magically breathe underwater. I trained myself to become aware that I was dreaming if I could suddenly breathe underwater, and I had one lucid dream. After that one dream... no more underwater dreams. I guess the dream gods got mad that I tinkered with their program.

When I got home from work this morning, I got a wild hair and decided to hit the trail on the ol' Rollerblades.

I went 22.5 miles, from the station near my house to Sumrall and back. I would post the route, but my iPhone batter died about a mile and a half from the end of my ride. I checked it very soon before the battery died, and I was averaging 9.9 miles per hour. That's .4 miles per hour faster than the last time I did that distance, which is big.

The other big event for this trip was another first for me: I crashed!! Wiped out! Went splat!

We had some good storms last night, and so there were occasional places on the trail where mud washed across the pavement. I was able to see them and maneuver around most of the spots.

Well, at the bottom of a "hill" (very relative term in South Mississippi) was one of these spots. I thought I could just roll over it, like I did on the way up.

Well, on the way up, I was on the far side of *that* side of the road. Well, coming back, I was on the far side of *this* side of the road. There was a large puddle of mud that I didn't see, and, well... about ten feet of my ride should not be counted because I was flying in the air during that time.

Some kind of instinct took over, and I hit the ground like a skydiver falling through the air: knees, elbows, and hands mostly elevated, and the brunt of the impact was taken by my chest and stomach. I scraped my palms a little bit, and I somehow lost a big chunk of skin on my middle knuckle on the top of my hand. I have no clue how that happened.

My shirt and shorts got really scraped up, though, which aggravates me because they are almost brand new. Other than that, I didn't really experience anything too traumatizing. I've always wondered what my first fall would be like. I was worried I'd be nervous getting back on my skates.

But I was about 6-7 miles away from my car, barely hurt, and had no other way to get home other than to just hop back up and keep going. I was a little wobbly for about 100 feet. But I got over myself and felt kind of badass for taking such a fall. I was going pretty fast -- probably 11-12 mph -- so to only experience a bloody knuckle is pretty lucky.

Today's ride took my yearly total to 168.15 miles.
Only 831.85 miles to go to reach my yearly goal of 1,000 miles!

---

Crossfit this afternoon had us running a total of 1600 meters, doing rope climbs and weighted rope pulls. Since I did, you know, 2-1/2 hours of cardio this morning and scraped up my hands pretty bad, I didn't even really try the WOD today. I did a total of three rope climbs. They are very hard to do. You have to coordinate your feet, your arms, and then conquer your fear of falling and burning your skin off of your hands.

So, I didn't really get a "Did Not Finish" today since I "Did Not Really Begin." I gave the run a half-assed try (I ran 800 meters) and gave the rope a few tries. But, all-in-all, it was a non-Crossfit, Crossfit day.

---

Other good news!

I've lost 14.3 lbs since starting Weight Watchers, and pushing 20 lbs since starting Crossfit! I still don't feel skinnier. When I look in the mirror, I see the same weight as I did when I started. However, I see other signs which contradict my weight-loss induced "body dysmorphia."

I have a pair of jeans (literally... a single pair of jeans). In January, they were bordering on being too tight. There were several times where I just zipped them up and didn't button them. But today...



Pretty cool, huh?

But my mind says to me, "Maybe they weren't as bad as you remember. Something else is going on here..." It's weird how your brain works, isn't it?

Anyway... that's it. I'm going to work really hard this week to look good for the San Francisco and Hawaii trip starting next week. Whee!

This is one of the hazards of my job. Supposedly, rattlesnakes are plentiful out here, yet I've never seen one. I don't even know what this one is. Someone else killed it. I don't understand the reasoning behind killing every snake you come across. I am quite ok with letting them go their own way.

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My first ever ripped pads from Crossfit. I feel so legit now! Yes, it burns like hell, but the pain is bittersweet. Today's WOD:

2-man team: while one person works on completing 100 sumo deadlift high pull and 200 hanging power snatch, the other person runs 100 meters with a sandbag on their shoulders. When the runner gets back, you switch off.

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Wow. This brings me back.

For those of you who lived anywhere near New Orleans in the 80s and 90s, you saw this commercial -- or one like it -- many times a day. It became a part of the local culture, where everybody knew what "I got da fifty dollas!" or, "Ledda have it!" meant.

If you want a study in modern New Orleans culture, this spot should be in your 101 class. Frankie and Johnnies, a true New Orleans establishment.

For all of my San Francisco (and surrounding areas) LJ friends:

We just booked where we will be staying while in "The City." It's a sign of the times when an actual hotel in Union Square (or very near Union Square) is cheaper than a hostel! Especially one that has gotten universally outstanding reviews and looks European, clean, and has a lot of personality.

We'll be staying at The Mosser! I'm really excited about this place. From the pictures, it looks exactly like the hotels I stayed at in Germany, England, and Italy.

It looks like an easy ride by public transport from the airport. Unless any of you wish to pick us up from the airport.... *wink* *wink*

We'll be in San Francisco from May 18-21. I want to meet up with as many of you as I can, even if it's just for a beer at lunch.

Do you have any suggestions for off-the-beaten-path things to see and do that are either free or cheap? Isn't it in San Francisco that there is a place where the waves and tides push air through pipes, creating music on a raised platform? I don't like tourist "traps," so anything that is unique or is especially enjoyed by the locals, I would like to see/do. Like I told April, "Nothing worth seeing charges money."

Two musts: Walk the Golden Gate Bridge and visit Crossfit San Francisco. Other than that, I'm totally open to suggestions. So get writing!

I live in Mississippi.

As far as earthquakes go, it's a fairly seismic deadzone. If you ever wanted to go somewhere where earthquakes wouldn't interrupt your daily commute, Mississippi should be high on your list.

I know there is a major fault that runs through Memphis and, if the big one were to hit, we'd probably feel it down here. But, whatever. I'll likely not see it in my lifetime.

When I was a kid -- probably second or third grade -- we would get Scholastic News
Weekly Reader "newspapers" aimed at kids. They covered important topics like the hole in the ozone layer (which we never hear about anymore. I have a feeling "Global Warming" will be the same thing), weather phenomenon, science issues, and conserving water.

One issue was about large earthquakes and what it was like to be in a big one.

Somewhere in the story was an account of a farmer noticing, earlier in the day, that his cows had been acting strangely, as if they knew the earthquake was coming.

This was in the second grade that I read this, mind you.

Every single time I see cows to this day, I wonder if their behavior could be classified as "strange," and if an earthquake is coming.

When I drive home from work, at 6:00am, many of the cows are lying down in a big group. That's what got me to think about my thought process when I see cows. Many mornings, at about 6:00am, you can rest assured someone is wondering if a group of cows sitting in a field means that there will be an earthquake. I'm not worried about there being an earthquake, mind you. Just wondering.

Went to school today to register for my summer and fall classes. If everything goes as planned, I'll be entering Nursing school in the Spring! And the nursing program is 18 months. So, I'm really starting to get within view of this goal. I'm pretty excited!

They tell me that the nursing program is a full-time, balls to the wall curriculum. That it's impossible to work while doing it. You have no time for anything else.

I guess I'll have to prove them wrong. I'd love for them to say, "He graduated with a 3.9GPA while working 48 hours a week!"

It'll make my classmates look like morons. Mwahahahaha!

One of the reasons I sat out this trimester was because of a single defaulted student loan that totaled a whopping $16. There's another one that's at $1400, but I have cash on hand to pay that off right out. I'll now get FASFA money, GI Bill, and a very small student loan to help with the rest.

The new GI bill, which comes out in the fall (and covers all military people who served more than 90 days and enlisted after 9/11), pays housing costs for an E-5 service member living on the local economy. That comes to $775 for Hattiesburg. They also pay for tuition and books. (EDIT TO ADD: Oh wait. They pay the "with dependents" rate, whether or not I have dependents. That's $1,026!)

I'm just too greedy, I guess. I like working. I like having money for travel, books, and gadgets. I can't imagine not working and schooling at the same time. It's what I've always done. Even if I won't have time to spend it, I'll have some money for when I graduate.

I may need some extra funds for when I move back to Hawaii.

So, that's the skinny on my schooling situation. What's yours?

Here's a moth I saw at work when it flew onto our trailer. While it was flying towards me, I thought it was a bat. This thing is huge. Anyone care to ID it?

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mitsu99 posted a video on his Facebook showing his max weight / personal record for a lifting exercise called "split jerk." His was 176.

Today, I decided I would try and outdo him. Since he got me into Crossfit, this is one of those "sons beating his father" moments. I'm sure we'll probably have a little competition going on from now on.

Keep in mind that, before doing this, I did a total of 15 "hang power clean and press" at 115 pounds. So, if my arms weren't completely shot, I'd probably do a little better.

This video is me trying to, at the very least, match up to my Crossfit mentor.


Determining PR/Max Rep for Split Jerk from Jon-Paul on Vimeo.

Let's get right to it, shall we?


Movies:

• Dance 'Til Dawn was every 80s teen-directed sitcom and/or every episode of "Saved By The Bell" all wrapped up into one movie. April requested it. She thinks it's the best movie ever made. I would have rather sniffed dog doo on a stick. Did the 80s really happen?
  
• Zodiac was beautifully shot and edited using someone's Mac. Lots of stars who are really great yet stay below the radar. It's long, at 2.5 hours, and shows graphic murder scenes. I wish they'd go ahead and solve the Zodiac murders.
  
• Seven Pounds wasn't bad. It didn't move me to tears, but I thought it was a nice way to spend a couple of hours.
  
• Milk was amazing. Sean Penn, while annoying and insists on shoving his politics down everyones' throats, is a fantastic actor. He completely becomes the characters he portrays. I didn't realize that the events that occurred after his death were where we get the legal term "Twinkie Defense."

---

( Boring diet/exercise stuff )

---

Joke:

It was WWII, and a guy went into boot camp with a very strange talent: All he had to do was make a gun shape out of his finger and thumb and go "BANGITY-BANG!" and people would fall down dead.

They rushed him through boot camp and sent him to the front lines. He would go from battle to battle yelling "BANGITY-BANG! BANGITY-BANG!" while shooting his finger gun towards the Germans. They would fall over dead, one by one, with few casualties on the American side. Everyone was amazed and grateful that he was on their team.

One day, during a battle, a German started coming towards our hero. He lifted his finger and yelled "BANGITY-BANG," yet nothing happened to the German. So he did it again. "BANGITY-BANG!" Nothing. Over and over, he tried his technique until the German walked right over our hero, killing him.

As he walked on by, the Americans only heard the German say "TANKITY-TANKITY-TANKITY!"

Waka waka waka!

---

The plans for the San Fran/Hawaii trip are all but completely solidified. The only issue is lodging in San Francisco.

The original plan, which is still likely, is that we will stay in a hostel in the middle of downtown somewhere. For two people, it'll only be about $130 for three nights. And Hostelling International hostels are always clean, friendly, and offer a LOT of extras. I've never been disappointed in an HI hostel, other than their slightly higher price.

I've proposed using the Couch Surfing website a try. If you don't know anything about it, you basically stay in someone's home, sleeping on their couch or an extra bed. It's a grassroots type of organization that promotes peace and understanding by introducing you to many different types of people around the world.

I've heard through the grapevine of the Internet from people who have done it, and there has never been a truly bad experience. Just like staying in a bunch of hostels, some may be kind of dark and weird, but by the time you leave it feels like home.

There used to be a hostel in Memphis I would stay at while driving between Picayune and Columbia. It was unaffiliated. The owners were mean, and there were party-goers coming in and out at all hours. Some flaming gay guy basically lived there and I would talk to him about once every six months or so. There was no central heating, so he'd run the gas stove all night to keep the place warm.

Well... that is what did in that hostel. It burned to the ground, and the owners didn't rebuild. It's a shame, though, because despite all of the bad points, it definitely had personality. The kitchen staff would let me sneak in and taste some of their breakfasts (the front of the hostel was a fancy Bed & Breakfast). And sometimes the party folks would give you a couple of beers.

So, if we decide not to get a couch, then a hostel is the next best thing. We'll meet some foreigners. They always have kitchens, so we can make our own breakfasts and lunches. And we'll have a grand ol' time being in the heart of San Francisco!

---

I've planted a garden in some pots on the back porch. It's growing very quickly, and I'm already excited about eating some fresh goodies:



Half of this pot has a summer mix of salad greens, which I'm probably the most excited about eating. The other half has a bunch of okra, my other favorite summer fruit (yes, it's a fruit!). Stewing fresh okra with fresh tomatoes brings me back to my Grandmother's house on a summer day.



This contains, from left to right, pumpkin (also a fruit), okra, baby carrots, and more salad greens.

Since pumpkins have become popular, and thus expensive, they will be the most "profitable" results of the garden. I'm wanting to make a big batch of pumpkin butter to put on toast in the morning. I also want to make pumpkin french fries and baked pumpkin wedges as side dishes. These pumpkins are supposed to have a dark orange/red flesh and taste sweet.

I've never had successful carrots, so this will be somewhat of an experiment. Steaming them in an aluminum foil pouch with a little salt and pepper, butter, and white wine will make them absolutely delicious.

I also have a pot full of herbs, but they aren't growing as quickly as the fruits and veggies. I have basil, oregano, chives, and cilantro. I can't wait for those to grow! Yum!

---

Well, that's about it for today. You are completely caught up.

Oh! I forgot to mention that I likely WILL be going to Key Largo the second week of June for some more SCUBA diving and Key Lime pie on a stick.

I'm wondering how hard it will be to bring my rollerblades with me and get some mileage in the Florida Keys. How great would that be?

I'm off like a prom dress.

Ok. Here's the very embarrassing video of my progress, from January 8-April 2. I thought I joined Crossfit on the 15th, hence the "2-1/2 months" I kept saying in the video.

I'm only in my boxers, and my body is gross. But I'm definitely making some progress. Tell me what you think!



"Getting In Shape" video diary from Jon-Paul on Vimeo.